Prioritizing Self-Care: How the Order of Our Loves Leads to Balance and Wellbeing Part 1
Learn how to structure your day around what matters most, so you can show up fully for yourself and others.
A few months ago, I participated in an event that left a lasting impact on me. The speaker was discussing something called the “Order of Loves” - the idea that we all have priorities in life, and the way we structure them shapes how we live. As someone who has juggled family, home, business, and personal health for many years, this concept resonated with me deeply.
This lecture prompted me to sit down, reflect, and create my own “order of loves”. Here’s what I came up with:
1. Faith – My firm foundation.
2. Self and Self-Care – Because I can’t give what I don’t have.
3. Family & Friends – My core relationships.
4. House & Home – Creating a space that nurtures my family and me.
5. Business & Community – My passion and where I want to make an impact.
The first observation that struck me was seeing “Self” so high on my list. To me, placing a priority on self-care seemed extremely self-centered and self-serving. However, I came to understand that prioritizing my well-being doesn’t mean I care less about my family or my work than I do about myself. Taking care of myself is what allows me to show up more fully for the people and things that I love.
To be clear, my “Order of Loves” is not accurately reflected as they are ordered every single day. Around the holidays, my days are full of House & Home. But when the kids aren’t home, Business & Community typically tend to take up more of my daily schedule than cleaning or cooking does. Some of my “loves” take over a full day, but the overall order of my priorities never changes.
This is not to say that I am important and my business is not. All of my “loves” are important, but the ones towards the bottom simply can not function when the ones above it are not in check. Again, your “Order of Loves” won’t be reflected on a daily or even weekly basis, but if you zoom out over the month, year, or even years, you should see a clearly weighted difference in your priorities. I truly believe that we can only be functioning at our best when we have clarity on our priorities and their place.
Having my priorities in place has helped me feel less torn between activities and people on a daily basis. I no longer feel like I’m constantly doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Instead, I trust that I’m where I need to be. There is immense freedom in the ability to be fully present in the current moment. Having this set order has given me a sense of peace, knowing that everything that matters has its place, and I don’t have to carry guilt for focusing on what’s in front of me.
In other words, creating my personal “Order of Loves” has helped me to truly be where my feet are. I constantly tell my friends and family to embody this level of presence. Living across the ocean from my children can certainly be difficult at times. However, this phrase drives our time apart and our time together, so that we can truly enjoy both to the fullest extent.
Why Self-Care Needs to Be a Priority
Many of us grew up believing that self-care was a luxury, something we’d get around to after taking care of everyone and everything else. I am proud to know that my daughter tells herself and others frequently that “self-care is not selfish.” She has seen firsthand that taking care of herself enables her to show up for people and responsibilities much more energized and equipped than when she is neglecting her own needs. What a beautiful sign of generational growth!
Research shows that prioritizing self-care actually improves not only our health but also our ability to manage stress and maintain relationships. The World Health Organization even defines self-care as an essential aspect of maintaining health and well-being. Studies further highlight that when women prioritize their health, they experience lower stress, better physical health, and greater life satisfaction. Yet, many of us still put it on the back burner. Why? Because we’re busy, overwhelmed, and sometimes feel guilty about taking time for ourselves.
Overcoming the Guilt of Self-Care
If you’ve ever felt selfish for taking care of yourself, you’re not alone. But think about it this way: If your health suffers, your energy plummets, and your stress levels skyrocket, who benefits from that?! Certainly not your family, your business, or your relationships.
Again, self-care is not selfish. It’s how we stay strong enough to show up for what matters most. When you have a clear “Order of Loves”, it becomes easier to trust that you’re prioritizing the right things at the right time. Instead of constantly wondering if you should be doing something else, you can embrace the moment you’re in, knowing that everything will balance out eventually in alignment with your priorities.
Barriers to Prioritizing Self-Care
Even once we know self-care is important, actually making time for it can feel impossible. Some common barriers to prioritizing self-care include:
Time Constraints: The first excuse I hear from clients who are not prioritizing self-care is, “I don’t have time”. While we can’t make time by adding any extra hours to the day, we can make space in our schedules. Many people don’t take care of themselves simply because they feel like there’s no room for it in their schedule.
Guilt: The belief that taking time for ourselves takes away from the time we could be spending with others can also hold us back from spending time on our own. Whether it’s a fear of missing out or a fear of disappointing others, it can overwhelm us with guilt to take time for ourselves, time away from others.
Overwhelm: Integrating self-care routines into your already busy schedule can seem like a hefty task to take on. Not knowing where to start or feeling that it’s just “one more thing to do” can discourage us from prioritizing it. When we look at our planner, we feel like we can’t possibly take another thing on our plate, so we simply don’t.
Lack of Structure: Or maybe you are someone who struggles to create a plan at all. Without a plan, self-care can get pushed aside even more easily. Self-care needs to be treated like an appointment or plan with yourself, on your calendar, and in your schedule.
By recognizing these barriers, we can start shifting our mindset and schedules to actively make space for self-care. Self-care should not be an afterthought but should be treated as a necessity. In our next blog, we will take a closer look at how to address these barriers to prioritizing self-care. Before we do, I will task you with the same thing that both kick-started and guided my journey of incorporating self-care.
Reflecting on Your Own Order of Loves
Now it’s your turn! Have you ever thought about your own “Order of Loves”? What are the things that matter most to you, and are you living in a way that reflects those priorities?
Here’s a simple exercise:
Take a few moments to write down your top five priorities in life.
Ask yourself: “Does the way I spend my time reflect this order?”
If not, what small shifts could you make to align your daily life with your true priorities?
This exercise can be eye-opening. Sometimes, we realize that our days are filled with obligations that don’t actually reflect what we value most. If that’s the case, don’t get overwhelmed! This is simply a tool to prepare you for receiving practical tips on implementing self-care into your life in our next blog.
A Sneak Peek at What’s Next
Now that we’ve laid the groundwork for why self-care matters and how it fits into our priorities, in Part 2, we’ll dive into the how. How to schedule self-care into your day, how to create boundaries, and how to make it a sustainable habit (without it feeling like another item on your to-do list).
If you’re struggling to uncover your “Order of Loves”, have more questions about why self-care matters, or are looking for specific guidance on how this would fit into your lifestyle, I would love to walk through that with you. Check out my bio below and schedule a free information call with me to discuss your unique personal health goals!
Claudia is an NBC-HWC Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, the owner of Vibrant Health by Claudia LLC and Virtual Health Coaches LLC. She studied Health and Wellness Coaching at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition where she also completed courses in Gut Health, Hormone Health, and Advanced Coaching. She is a Havening TechniquesⓇ Certified Practitioner and certified 21-Day Sugar Detox Coach as well as a co-author of three Amazon Bestsellers “The Ultimate Guide to Creating Your Soul Aligned Business”, “The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Successful Soul Professional” and “The Ultimate Guide To Leaving Your Legacy.”
To schedule a time for a free information call click here or join her Vibrant Health Power Community - a free Facebook Group here..