As a college student, navigating the pressures of academics, social life, and future planning can leave you feeling overwhelmed. For many students, anxiety becomes an all-too-familiar companion. It's common (and believe it or not, useful!) to experience some stress in college. After all, a little bit of stress motivates us to do great work and stick to our deadlines. However, it can be all too easy to slide into the realm of too much! When productive stress turns into debilitating anxiety, the impact can be far-reaching, influencing not only your mental and emotional well-being but also your ability to succeed academically and socially.

One key factor that often amplifies anxiety is the need for control. College life can feel like one big juggling act. You’re constantly trying to manage multiple responsibilities, expectations, and deadlines. You’re balancing a busy social life with the demands of school work, and possibly a job, sports, and other activities. It can feel almost impossible to keep all those balls in the air at once. On top of all that, life is unpredictable. As soon as you find your rhythm, something unexpected is sure to come along and throw things out of whack.

Plus, at this time in your life, you’re suddenly faced with a whole new level of independence. This newfound freedom might feel glamorous and exciting…but it’s also a lot of responsibility.

Many students resort to trying to control certain aspects of their lives to feel safer or more secure. However, this attempt to control everything can, ironically, feed into the anxiety they’re trying to alleviate.

Let’s explore the different ways in which the desire for control impacts anxiety in college students. With this understanding, we can then look at actionable strategies to help break the cycle of stress and regain balance.

The Need for Control: A Coping Mechanism for Anxiety

Anxiety is often rooted in a fear of the unknown. The pressure to succeed (academically, socially, or personally) can feel all-consuming as a student. To reduce this uncertainty and feel more in control, many students try to micromanage various aspects of their lives. They may focus on maintaining rigid routines, organizing every detail of their day, or trying to predict every possible outcome. While these behaviors may provide short-term relief, they ultimately increase anxiety.

Why is this? Having control is meant to alleviate the chaos in your brain. Life is certainly easier to handle when it’s orderly and predictable. There is comfort in dependability. So, how can it be true that control feeds anxiety?

The Illusion of Safety:

When you're managing every little detail of your life, it can create a sense of security. If you can control your schedule, your environment, and your relationships, you might feel like you can minimize risks and maintain stability. However, life is inherently unpredictable, and when things don’t go according to plan, it can trigger heightened anxiety. Your sense of control is shattered, leading to feelings of chaos and panic.

Perfectionism and Expectations:

The need for control often goes hand in hand with perfectionism. College students frequently set high expectations for themselves. They put pressure on themselves to get perfect grades, be the ideal friend or roommate, and excel in extracurricular activities. This demand to perform perfectly can become overwhelming. When you inevitably miss a deadline or don’t meet your own standards, the anxiety intensifies because you feel you have failed, which reinforces the belief that you need to control everything to avoid that failure in the future.

Fear of Uncertainty:

Anxiety thrives in uncertainty. When students feel they can’t predict or control what happens next, whether it’s an unexpected exam, a change in plans with friends, or an unforeseen obstacle, they experience an increase in anxiety. Trying to anticipate every possible outcome and control every aspect of your life may seem like the best way to cope, but it’s not sustainable. Trying to maintain this tight grip on everything actually increases stress. Why? No matter how hard we try, we simply cannot outsmart the twists and turns of life. And when you try and fail to hold onto certainty, it can feel like you are losing your grip on it all.

How to Break the Cycle of Control and Anxiety

Understanding that the need for control is fueling your anxiety is the first step toward breaking the cycle.

The next step is a lot more difficult…

You need to learn to embrace uncertainty.

Relinquish the idea that you must control everything in your life.

I know…easier said than done! But you can do this.

Here are some strategies to help you manage anxiety in a healthier way:

1. Reframe Your Relationship with Uncertainty

Instead of fearing the unknown, try to shift your mindset and view uncertainty as a natural part of life. Train yourself to view life through the lens of curiosity rather than judgment. The world is a place of wonder; things happen all the time that we will never understand, much less control. While it’s impossible to predict every outcome, learning to embrace uncertainty can reduce anxiety immensely.

Not only that, but it can also lead to a greater likelihood of success. According to Carol Dweck, Ph.D., author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, people with a “growth mindset” are more apt to flourish in life than those with a “fixed mindset.” A growth mindset is the belief that abilities can be developed. Having this kind of perspective affects how we learn and what paths we take, ultimately steering us toward greater success than those who believe our capabilities are set in stone.

Practice Flexibility: College is a time of transition, and things rarely go as planned. Embrace flexibility in your schedule and goals. If a study session runs late or your plans change unexpectedly, accept that these are part of the college experience, not failures to be feared.

Focus on What You Can Control: There will always be parts of your life that you cannot control, but you can control how you react to them. Instead of trying to fight against the inevitable, accept what you can’t change and look instead toward what you can do next. You can also shift your focus toward small, manageable pieces that you can control. Instead of trying to dictate every aspect of your life, work on a smaller level. Set realistic study goals, block off some non-negotiable time for self-care, or organize your day in a way that aligns with your current energy levels. Having that little bit of control will give you a sense of calm within the storm…instead of trying to wrangle the whole hurricane.

2. Address Perfectionism

Perfectionism often stems from the need to control every detail of your life. When you’re constantly striving for perfection, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. In reality, imperfection is a natural part of being human, and embracing this fact can help reduce anxiety.

Set Realistic Expectations: Instead of striving for perfection, aim for “the best you can do right now.” Accept that not every task will be completed flawlessly, and that’s okay. This doesn’t mean you should stop holding yourself to high standards. Just remember that your best is not going to be the same every day. Some days, you might be sick, overworked, or tired. Maybe you already threw all of your energy at something really important, and now, something’s got to give. We simply cannot spend 100% of our energy on everything all the time. Celebrate progress rather than perfection.

“On the days you only have 40%, and you give 40%, you gave 100%.” – Jim Kwik

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. Self-compassion is the antidote to perfectionism. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend who is going through a tough time. Remember, you’re doing your best, and that's enough.

Besides, becoming absorbed in failure is not the way to rise above it. The idea of self-fulfilling prophecy works both ways. If you dwell on what went wrong, you are likely to continue down a path of self-sabotage. Likewise, implementing some positive self-talk will boost your confidence and encourage actions that lead to more favorable results. Allow yourself to reflect for as long as it takes to learn your lesson. Then move on. Go do something great.

3. Incorporate Mindfulness to Break the Control Cycle

Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing anxiety. It helps you stay present in the moment, rather than ruminating on what could go wrong or what has already happened. By practicing mindfulness, you can create a sense of calm and detachment from the constant need to control everything.

Practice Mindful Breathing: When anxiety hits, stop and focus on your breath. Try the 4-7-8 technique—inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, and exhale for 8 counts. This simple practice can immediately calm your nervous system and help you reconnect with the present moment.

Mindfulness Meditation: Just a few minutes of meditation can help reduce the stress of controlling everything. Apps like Headspace or Calm offer guided meditation sessions specifically designed to help with anxiety and stress.

Mindful Awareness in Daily Tasks: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily activities. Whether it’s eating, studying, or walking to class, focus on the sensations and experiences of the present moment. This helps break the cycle of worrying about the future or regretting the past.

Explore the Benefits of Havening: Havening is a technique through which touch is used to create delta waves in the brain. Delta waves positively impact regions of the brain responsible for the emotions involved in our experiences.

Havening is a fairly new (and effective!) therapeutic approach used to treat trauma and anxiety. Studies support its significant impact on emotional regulation, trauma recovery, and physiological stress responses.

You can perform Havening on yourself, but if you’ve experienced severe trauma, it’s best to find a trained practitioner.

4. Prioritize Healthy Habits to Reduce Stress

When you’re under pressure, it’s easy to neglect self-care. However, a healthy diet, exercise, and sleep are essential in managing anxiety and improving your overall mental health.

Diet and Anxiety:

College students are often at the mercy of campus dining and busy schedules, which can lead to poor food choices. An inadequate diet, one that’s high in refined sugars, caffeine, and processed foods, can directly impact anxiety and brain health. A diet lacking essential nutrients, like omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins, and magnesium, can result in mood swings, fatigue, and heightened stress. On the flip side, a nutrient-rich diet with a balance of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats can stabilize blood sugar levels, reduce inflammation, and support brain function, which can alleviate symptoms of anxiety.

Exercise and Anxiety:

Regular physical activity is one of the most effective ways to manage anxiety. Exercise releases endorphins, the body’s natural mood boosters, and helps reduce the level of cortisol, the stress hormone. Even moderate physical activity like walking, yoga, or cycling can help improve mood and reduce stress. It’s important to integrate exercise into your routine, even when you're feeling overwhelmed by coursework.

(Read more about using physical activity to relieve anxiety HERE!)

Sleep and Anxiety:

Sleep is another crucial factor that plays a significant role in anxiety. Lack of sleep can heighten stress and make it harder for your brain to regulate emotions. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night to help your mind and body recover, recharge, and manage stress.

5. Embrace Flexibility and Go with the Flow

College life rarely goes according to plan, and learning to roll with the punches can help you manage your anxiety. If things don’t go as expected, allow yourself to adapt. There is nothing you can do to change what happens outside of your control. So, you can stress about it, or you can make a choice to move forward in a positive way.

Learn from Setbacks: Instead of viewing unexpected changes as failures, view them as learning experiences. Adapt, adjust, and grow from each situation. Remember, you can handle more than you think.

The Bigger Picture: How Your Health Impacts Your Future

Whether you’re standing on your own, or you’re lucky enough to have support, college is a significant investment. The money, time, and energy invested into a college education represent a big commitment, and taking care of your physical and mental health during this time is crucial not only for your well-being but also for your long-term success.

Neglecting your health, whether through poor diet, lack of exercise, or unmanaged stress, can hinder your academic performance and personal growth, potentially delaying your path to achieving your goals. By making health a priority, you’re investing in your future. Staying healthy allows you to perform better academically, maintain energy levels, and manage the inevitable challenges that come your way in college.

Moreover, adopting healthy habits now will set the foundation for your future career and personal life. The ability to manage stress, make thoughtful decisions about nutrition, exercise, and sleep, and maintain a healthy mindset will continue to serve you in the years after graduation.

As a college student, managing anxiety is a skill that can be developed over time. The desire to control every aspect of your life is natural, especially when faced with the challenges and uncertainties of college life. However, the more you try to control, the more anxious you may become when things don’t go as planned. By reframing your relationship with uncertainty, practicing mindfulness, letting go of perfectionism, and prioritizing self-care, you can break the cycle of anxiety and embrace a healthier, more flexible approach to life.

Anxiety doesn’t have to control you. With the right mindset and strategies, you can navigate college life with greater ease, confidence, and peace of mind…ultimately investing in your well-being and future success.

Claudia is an NBC-HWC Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, the owner of Vibrant Health by Claudia LLC and Virtual Health Coaches LLC. She studied Health and Wellness Coaching at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition where she also completed courses in Gut Health, Hormone Health, and Advanced Coaching. She is a Havening TechniquesⓇ Certified Practitioner and certified 21-Day Sugar Detox Coach as well as a co-author of three Amazon Bestsellers “The Ultimate Guide to Creating Your Soul Aligned Business”, “The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Successful Soul Professional” and “The Ultimate Guide To Leaving Your Legacy.”

To schedule a time for a free information call click here or join her Vibrant Health Power Community - a free Facebook Group - here..

Sources:

Dweck, Carol S, Ph. D. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York, Ballantine Books, 2013.

Haller, Claudia. “Activity Over Anxiety - How Physical Activity Can Help Relieve Stress — Vibrant Health by Claudia.” Vibrant Health by Claudia, 24 Oct. 2023, www.vibranthealthbyclaudia.com/blog/activity-over-anxiety-how-physical-activity-can-help-relieve-stress?rq=anxiety.

“Havening Techniques - Better Living Through Neuroscience.” Havening Techniques Official Website, havening.org.

The Simplest Anxiety-Soothing Technique You’ve Never Heard of | Amen Clinics Amen Clinics. www.amenclinics.com/blog/the-simplest-anxiety-soothing-technique-youve-never-heard-of.

Managing Anxiety in College: Understanding Why We Crave Control…and Learning to Let Go